A lot is made of Finns -- particularly Finnish men -- and their reported lack of affection. After all, they're not like, oh, southern Europeans, who let their passion fall out all over everything. They're cold, closed, stoic and sexless. (It should be noted that what Finnish women have going for them is that they are hot blondes.)
Well, all this runs contrary to the (anecdotal) evidence I've encountered. It would seem that Finns (including men) possess quite a magnetic draw on foreigners. They entice us to uproot ourselves and lure us to a place that may or may not be wildly different than where we're from. What's up with that?
Well, Finnish men, puff out your chests at what I'm about to say; Finnish women, admire your lovely selves (or, regardless of gender, whatever expression of self-love you prefer). I move that we revise our stereotypes. I think we should now rank Finns among the world's best lovers.
Feel free to offer a counter-example. I have yet to hear any other than non-specific references to predominant stereotypes.
I wouldn't know how Southern European guys are like in general. I only had another boyfriend prior to hubby and he was a Canadian - but he's nothing compared to hubby in terms of gentleness and affection.
ReplyDeleteGranted both hubby and I come from a family where we don't hug or kiss that often (I think Finnish people hug more often than Indonesians), but we've both created a kind of marriage where hugs and kisses are a plenty he he...
That said, I think it's possible to learn to be more affectionate and loving towards your spouse, even if you're not really brought up that way. As long as both parties are ready to explore and improve themselves, there's always hope. :-D And MORE fun than you can ever imagine! :-D
Oh, just to be clear...I mean in Indo of course parents hug and kiss their small children, but not many adults would hug other adults...
ReplyDeleteYeah, whether learned or innate, affection is pretty awesome. Thanks for talking about how Indonesian practices compare to Finnish ones; I had no idea hugging wasn't common there. :)
ReplyDelete"I think we should now rank Finns among the world's best lovers." How big a sample are you basing that statement on? Only joking. I agree that Finns are not the stereotype others (and indeed some Finns) would like them to be.
ReplyDeleteFortunately (or unfortunately?), my sample size isn't exactly scientific. I've collected my data primarily through informal surveys. One sweeping generalization for another. ;)
ReplyDeleteMaybe the stereotypical Finnish man oozes what Tony Soprano called "the strong silent type", a feature likely to attract women.
ReplyDeleteThen again, to claim women are drawn to men who don´t talk, dance or kiss is a stereotype in itself.
I think that any kind of stereotype is merely an indication of a certain tendency. It absolutely fails to take into account individualism.
I´m a German, my girlfriend is Finnish. Sometimes we like to make fun of each other for being exactly that, going like "Typisch Deutsch!", "You are such a Finn!" etc.
But it´s obvious to us that there´s so much more to our personalities.
So why can´t there be passionate Finnish men? Highly reserved Latinos? Unpunctual Germans? Dutch who can actually drive a car? I bet there are!
Btw, I´d like to thank you for your support on my blog the other day! Seems like that person had no idea what I was talking about.
JottEff, you hit on the note of satire that I'd hoped to convey. For some reason, there seems a gargantuan effort to stereotype Finns. I'm not sure why this is, exactly, but it is, to some extent, for the purpose of humor. I guess the tediousness of that particular joke inspired me to suggest just the opposite stereotype, if only for something a little different.
ReplyDeleteAs you said, it's ridiculous to superimpose a particular pattern of behaviors on an entire culture; yes, there are cultural tendencies that may predispose individuals to certain qualities, but they're far from universal. But, I suppose most everyone knows that already -- more importantly, yeah, Finns are X, and X generalization was only funny the first million or so times it was said.
Though, I suppose if someone were to suggest that I'm a stereotypical American, he or she would say that I'm fat and stupid. It could be worse for Finns, I suppose. ;)
And that entry was definitely worth defending. Interesting stuff!
Hi Elena, I'm popping over from Expat Blog you were featured in my email today. Glad I found you. Your blog is well written and enjoyable to read. It's always nice to find another American over here. Look forward to getting to know you better :)
ReplyDeleteTracie