I've heard quite a few ideas on American culture while living in Finland. Some are correct. Some are outright misconceptions. Let's analyze a few of them.
Disclaimer: Though I've traveled to different places within the US, I've never lived outside of New England. This is a New Englander's perspective. Regional differences likely apply.
1. Americans don't mean it when they say, "Let's get together sometime." It's just a formality.
In my experience, this is just plain false. At the least it displays a misunderstanding about how this phrase might come to be uttered and not result in hang outs.
Imagine it. You meet someone. You like him or her. He or she suggests that you reconnect at some point for more fun times. You say, "Sure!" because you genuinely appreciate him or her. Time passes. Your kid gets the flu. Your boss has been a real asshole this week. You forget to call. He or she doesn't contact you either, presumably for a host of similar reasons. It turns out that this budding friendship isn't a top priority. The two of you never speak again.
If, however, so-and-so does manage to pick up the phone or shoot you a text message, you're not going to be shocked that he or she did so. You'll be pleased that so-and-so took the initiative.
The point is, I've never encountered a situation in which I felt like I was socially obligated to make faux plans with someone I thought a turd, or even someone I didn't think much of one way or the other. Who the fuck would do that?
2. When someone asks, "How are you?" the only acceptable answers are "fine," "good," and "wonderful."
Unlike the above, saying "How are you?" is a formality, or can be. Still, you're under no obligation to ask at all, and it's perfectly acceptable to answer honestly (within reason). Here's an example:
Coworker 1: Hey, how are you?
Coworker 2: Oh, well, not that great, actually. I didn't sleep too well.
Coworker 1: That sucks.
Who knows, maybe Coworker 2 didn't sleep well because his wife kept trying to murder him in his sleep. That's not something he'd feel comfortable revealing to an acquaintance. Still, he managed to be honest without over-sharing.
There is an exception, however. Sometimes, when telemarketers call, it'll go something like this:
Person: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hi! This is Jennifer from Intrusive P.O.S. Inc. andhowareyoutoday?
Person:...Fine.
3. Americans eat a lot of hamburgers and cannot live without them while abroad.
Even if it were difficult to obtain hamburgers outside the US, are they really that important to our gastronomy? I'm going to go with no.
4. Americans are so puritanical. They have this rule - "No sex on the first date."
We have no such rule. Stop watching romantic comedies.
5. Americans love to chat in line at the store.
This one might actually be true, at least in friendlier regions. Still, I find it hard to imagine. What's the protocol? With whom do you start a conversation, the person in front of or behind you? What happens when you've run out of acceptable topics to discuss? What if your conversation partner turns out to be an asshole? I think this claim is overblown.
For more on this topic, take a listen to this segment from an episode of This American Life.
My fellow Americans, you are welcome to weigh in or contribute to the list. What misconceptions have you encountered? Non-Americans, what stereotypes about your own culture really irk you?
He he he he he...well, when Finns hear that I'm from Indonesia, they usually have no stereotype at all. Instead, most of them ask, "Where? Where is it located?" LOL LOL LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd about loving to chat in a line at the store...people in Sodankylä love doing that, but that's because it's a small place hi hi hi hi...Actually I've never thought about all the things you mentioned here, but I think one thing that is really prominent (the message I get from America) is that it's a land of freedom he he he he...and that it seems people sue other people so often over there (at least that's the kind of image I get - too many movies?).
The "land of freedom" thing is pretty much true. That's the thing Americans latch onto when they feel patriotic. As far as whether or not the US is actually "free," it's excessively free in some ways and fairly restrictive in others. That's just my opinion, though.
DeleteAs for lawsuits, yeah, they're definitely not uncommon. They're not always what you see in the movies, though - bitter, greedy people suing each other over the tiniest of things. This documentary has a really interesting perspective on why the "freedom" to sue can be very important in the US, if you ever get the chance to see it. :)
Funny that, if I had to list about American stereotypes, I would not have included any of those. My list might have included:
ReplyDelete- Americans only wear sneakers
- American men all tuck their t-shirts in their trousers/pants
- Americans always walk around with a drink in hand, like toddlers with a baby-bottle
- Americans are prone to inflationary language, in a beyond stellar kinda way ;-)
- Americans have nice teeth
How's that for starters?
I suppose the ones I encounter mainly have to do with society/social interaction. People frequently ask me about American small talk, superficial American friendships and the like. This may well be the Finnish perspective on American stereotypes - though that is in and of itself a stereotype!
DeleteYour list is hilarious! The first three have me scratching my head, though. I must admit, I googled "Americans tuck shirt" and found this article, in which it states
"The fit of the shirt is another indicator. Slimmer, European cut shirts look great either
way, but are more suited for wearing untucked than their boxier, American
counterparts."
It appears you're right!
In regards to no. 3, what sorts of drinks do you mean? Beer? Big Gulp? Milk?
Americans do take dentistry/orthodontistry very seriously, it seems. My own parents shelled out a pretty hefty sum for braces when I was a young teen. Of course, Americans subscribe to the opposite stereotype when it comes to British people. :P
Re: the t-shirt, I should also have added sweatshirts. Think of Steve Jobs: sweatshirt in pants + white sneakers = American!
DeleteRe: drinks, I mean coffee, coke, smoothies, juice, whatever. Large.
I haven't heard any of those stereotypes. I'd say, though, that #2 is a more of a custom than a stereotype. That custom is shared by the Brits and probably a large part of the Western world. Asians too, I think.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I think the custom may push the kind of culture of fake smiles that is somewhat stereotypically associated with the Americans.
As I understand it, the custom is as I described it, not to choose between one of those three adjectives. That's where the stereotype comes in.
DeleteIt's odd - I'm frequently asked about all of the things on the list. Perhaps these happen to be just the misconceptions of people I've run into. Or perhaps people assume these things about me personally, vapid bitch that I am.
Sure, I bow before your superior knowledge on the subject.
DeleteI can't avoid feeling that you've somehow managed the meet the most ignorant people.
Well, maybe it's that they wanted to find out about the country and the culture but couldn't quite think of any specific questions and that was further exacerbated by their somewhat lacking linquistic skills. Thus, they ended up asking something inane like this and didn't continue the conversation, because once they'd asked the question they realized just how stupid they sounded.
My knowledge is totally anecdotal, so I'm not sure how valuable it actually is. While these folks were certainly ignorant, I can understand why that might be, I think. I'm probably the only American most of them have ever spoken to for any length of time. I get the sense that much of the world forms opinions of the US based on the knowledge they have, which is usually limited to stupid Hollywood crap and military intervention. It's probably not hard to form harsh, sweeping opinions of us based upon those two things.
DeleteI will say, though, that your theory may apply to no. 3. I can't tell you how many times people (not just Finns) have asked me a) if I eat a lot of hamburgers (because I'm "not fat") and b) what my expert opinion is on the burgers on offer in Finland. The "fat" thing could be on the list, too. Sure, there are definitely plenty of fat people in the US, but we're not all, without exception, morbidly obese! :P
How about the stereotype that Americans are just capitalist pigs looking to dominate the world and push their culture on everyone? :)
ReplyDeleteThat's just an outrageous lie spread by american
Deletenative indians.
One thing I've heard from Finns is how American behavior is so fake, for example, small talk or friendliness among strangers. Your points 1 and 2 touch on this notion. I've found myself having to defend this notion of public 'fake' displays of courtesy and friendliness that is common in the US.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that public exchanges and courtesies between strangers in public places, restaurants, stores, etc. are common in US culture, but it's perhaps not to the extent that foreigners make it out to be and I've certainly never felt it to be an unbearable obligation or huge pain to deal with. I'm pretty introverted and like my privacy, but I've never felt inconvenienced or annoyed by being engaged with in friendly manner in public by a stranger. I'm a bit baffled as to why friendliness (even if a bit mustered) when engaging with a stranger, even for a brief exchange, is seen as a bad thing by Finns. I don't feel fake at all when I show at least a semblance of friendliness when exchanging courtesies with a stranger in public. It makes the social atmosphere pleasant and it makes my day feel better. It took me a few years of living here in Finland before I begin to appreciate public American friendliness and now I defend it whenever I hear anyone say Americans are fake and overfriendly to strangers.