Mikä minun ammatti on? En tiedä!

Here in Finland, one's profession (ammatti) is less than fluid. Typically, you've had training that aligns with the types of jobs you hold. Your ammatti is documented in the annals of Finnish bureaucracy, and when someone asks you, "Mikä sinun ammatti on?" you can reply, "Minä olen insinööri," or "sihteeri" or "kotiäiti." In other words, your ammatti is so much more than your job, or even your career. It's what you do. It's what you've been trained to do.

And, as it turns out, I'm the only one I know of that doesn't seem to have one.

I first ran into this problem at the employment office. All the forms ask what your profession is, and I had no idea what to write when filling them out; if I don't even know what I am in English, I can't very well translate it into Finnish, can I? The person I met with there was very helpful, but she couldn't seem to offer me a definition, either.

More recently, we've been discussing it in Finnish class. Everyone seems to know what they are, or at least has a university degree that translates somewhat easily to a profession, like ekonomi or biologi.

I have a bachelor's degree in English language and literature. I have worked as an after school teacher (something that doesn't even exist here), a secretary, a receptionist, and a customer service representative. My training did not educate me in a way that would translate directly to the workforce, and my work experience is born out of what jobs were available at the time. Back in the States, my bachelor's qualifies me to pursue higher degrees (yes, please!), and to work anywhere that will hire me. The only thing it really says to potential US employers is that I'm worth more per year than someone with only a high school diploma. Being from Connecticut, I was practically destined to work in data entry at an insurance company. 

In considering all these factors, it would seem I am something of a sihteeri; I worked as a secretary, and I received an academic degree that all but relegated me to being a secretary. But, but, if I'd had the money, I would have stayed home and kept going to school! Minä haluan olla professori! 

In fact, a good portion of my adult life has been spent trying to avoid being a secretary. The only solace there is in speaking Finnish as terribly as I do is that I cannot possibly be a secretary here. En halua olla sihteeri! Ei, ei, ei!*

But there is hope. Today, when I was asked my profession, I responded, "kirjailija." I've always struggled with calling myself a writer, since it's not like I've ever been paid to do it, and, hell, I don't even know if I'm any good. But there has never been, nor will there ever be a better time to write, and, as such, there will never be a better time to call myself a writer; I'm working on a novel, and my current "schedule" (read: unemployment) allows me to dedicate quite a lot of time to its satisfactory completion.

And there's no law saying you have to be some kind of genius in order to call yourself a writer. My new ammatti won't help me to fill out the forms at the employment office, but, at this point, I don't really care. 

* I have nothing against the profession or the people who belong to it. It's just not what I want to do.