I've been doing very little, and, therefore, have had very little to write about. Real life begins again in a week or so.
I'm just coming out of a period during which I was very homesick, and life felt stultifying and arduous. My trip to the US was truly beautiful, but I was way too busy to really process what it all meant. I'm currently stuck in the quicksand of inertia and boredom, but I know that school and study will throw me a rope.
As it turns out, I'm awfully nervous about what's to come, though -- what if I'm unqualified to teach English, and I'm unable to answer pedantic and inane grammar questions (you know, the sort of questions that assholes like me ask)? What if my students prefer Received Pronunciation and are instead forced to listen to my distastefully coarse rhotic "r"? What if I haven't learned a sufficient amount of new Finnish vocabulary this summer, and I'm left perpetually behind as a result? What if I then never learn Finnish properly, and I end up with a permanent seat in front of S-Market, just next to that woman who asks everyone for precisely three euros?
Perhaps my anxieties aren't quite that irrational, but they're certainly somewhere in the neighborhood.
At my father's suggestion, I've started running. What a genius suggestion it was, too. I've always loathed running in the past, but my short-term circumstances give me little choice but to enjoy it. It gives me a sense of accomplishment that memorizing vocab on the couch fails to provide.
[I apologize for the lameness that is this post. I've been thinking of reviewing some of the restaurants here in Lappeenranta, so perhaps some juicy expat-blogish type stuff is on its way.]
I'm just coming out of a period during which I was very homesick, and life felt stultifying and arduous. My trip to the US was truly beautiful, but I was way too busy to really process what it all meant. I'm currently stuck in the quicksand of inertia and boredom, but I know that school and study will throw me a rope.
As it turns out, I'm awfully nervous about what's to come, though -- what if I'm unqualified to teach English, and I'm unable to answer pedantic and inane grammar questions (you know, the sort of questions that assholes like me ask)? What if my students prefer Received Pronunciation and are instead forced to listen to my distastefully coarse rhotic "r"? What if I haven't learned a sufficient amount of new Finnish vocabulary this summer, and I'm left perpetually behind as a result? What if I then never learn Finnish properly, and I end up with a permanent seat in front of S-Market, just next to that woman who asks everyone for precisely three euros?
Perhaps my anxieties aren't quite that irrational, but they're certainly somewhere in the neighborhood.
At my father's suggestion, I've started running. What a genius suggestion it was, too. I've always loathed running in the past, but my short-term circumstances give me little choice but to enjoy it. It gives me a sense of accomplishment that memorizing vocab on the couch fails to provide.
[I apologize for the lameness that is this post. I've been thinking of reviewing some of the restaurants here in Lappeenranta, so perhaps some juicy expat-blogish type stuff is on its way.]
Hang in there, Elena, and try not to panic about what's ahead, as I already know that you will be a terrific teacher. I can tell that you're passionate about language learning, and that's the most important part of being a language teacher, I think. If someone asks you a question you can't immediately answer, play for time with the excellent diversionary tactic my last Finnish teacher always used - throw the question out to the whole class! "Who can answer Katriina's question?"
ReplyDeleteSorry it's taken me so long to reply, but I want to thank you for your encouragement. Also, the "who can answer the question" tactic is pure genius! :)
Deleteoh! Very best of luck for the teaching. I know first hand how inadequate and useless you feel as a teacher before you start. Well, let's be honest even quite a while after you start. You just need to trust yourself and think.. well at least I believe that everyone has something to give, therefore I must have something to give and teach.
ReplyDeleteBeing a teacher doesn't know that you need to know everything either. You can always do what Katriina cleverly suggested there and if that doesn't work just be honest and say I am not quite sure but I will find out for you.
Thanks so much for the teacherly advice. :) It's true that knowing everything isn't what teaching is about. It's your willingness to share what you do know and try and discover what you don't!
DeleteSometimes it's best not to think of the worrisome aspects of life and just live day by day. :-)
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about teaching. I find that sometimes when a student asked me about something tough that I just couldn't remember, I'd tell him, "Sorry, I don't remember it at the moment and I don't want to give you the wrong info. I'll keep your question in mind and I'll let you know the answer next time we meet." And that's enough (that's happened to me a few times during my teaching years). :-) I'm sure your students will ENJOY having you as a teacher. :-)
And some Finnish teachers of mine (from kansalaisopisto) have also said the same thing if they were unsure about answering a grammatical question. That they'd find out about it and let us know. And I never thought any less of them. :-)
When it comes to learning Finnish, trust me...you've learnt FASTER than most people I've known (the foreigners I've known), so just keep at it. Don't think about how much you've learnt or not 'coz it's hard to gauge until you're already a few years away in the future when you realize, "Hey, I know this word and that word and I understand this and that." :-)
You're so right about it being hard to gauge exactly how much you've learned or not. I should really stop trying to self-evaluate so often and just learn as much as I can.
DeleteThanks as always for the encouragement. :)
I think it's a good sign that you're a bit panicked. It shows that you're wanting to be a good teacher and are concerned for your students. You'll do great. Try not to be too hard on yourself and hopefully the students will help you along. Also, it's OKAY to say 'I don't know the answer to that question'. You simply find out and answer the question with confident the next time.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!
It's great to get perspective and advice from a fellow teacher. You're right that the students help you along; I've already gotten tons of neat ideas from them! Thanks so much for the encouragement. :)
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