Although I truly appreciate all I've learned in college, I feel slighted.
My chances of attending graduate school are looking slimmer and slimmer; if I were to stay in the country, I wouldn't be able to afford it and still remain on my medication. My prospects will be slightly better in Finland, as the University of Helsinki offers a doctorate in English Philology. This program is highly competitive, however, and though I do have a high GPA, my background in Linguistics is pretty lacking. In fact, I'd guess that my background is lacking in nearly all respects. I wholly blame general education requirements.
It pains me to say this, since I have thoroughly enjoyed fulfilling most of my gen ed requirements. I'm glad to possess knowledge of things like (very) basic mathematical concepts, evolution, and history. Although I would hesitate to sacrifice these classes in favor of more major content courses, I feel ill-equipped for grad school and rather ignorant of the thing I'm meant to be studying. There is so much literature I want to read, so many theses as yet unformed, and I have wasted so much time on a simplistic and rudimentary general education. A "well-rounded" education, as it turns out, is not so at all. Instead, it is completely inadequate and superficial.
I had wanted to get my doctorate. I still do. But in light of the revelation that I likely won't be able to, it would have been nice to squeeze every drop of literary knowledge out of a truncated education. I realize I can still read, write about what I read, and so on, but it isn't the same. I don't want to leave academia. I want my papers torn apart and destroyed by ruthless professors and colleagues. I want to see if I can thrive in a barrage of constructive criticism. I want rigor. I want to exceed an institution's expectations. I want to better my skills.
That said, I'm infinitely grateful for my inadequate education. This inadequacy is the fault of the institution, not the educators. If it weren't for having some seriously great professors, I wouldn't want to join their ranks.
Yep, this is a reality we are all facing. Our BA's are more like BS, or more accurately, what a high school diploma was a generation ago. Liberal arts are great if you can afford to putz around or have mommy and daddy's financial support. For the rest of us this means we get to work in an office, at best.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of staying in academia, could you take classes in Linguistics to catch yourself up to speed? Man, if I had the money to piss away, I'd study linguistics, I find it fascinating, but then again I find languages fascinating (like the Arabic I really don't get to use. At least I use Spanish at the grocery store :)
Anyway, glad to see you're still writing, and if anything, you'll figure out a way to do what you want to do. I know you will :)
Yeah, I really wish that this country viewed education differently; College/University should be for the study academic disciplines and not some amalgam of academics and career training. People should have a venue in which to get career training some other way. People shouldn't be forced to study academics and, similarly, we aspiring academics shouldn't suffer a watered-down education.
ReplyDeleteIt would also be nice if education was, you know, affordable.