Reflection

Tomorrow, our intensive Finnish class will come to an abrupt end. After spending every day together for over a year, my classmates and I will be scattered to the four winds and forced to fend for ourselves.

The most significant thing I've drawn from this experience is an absolutely vast amount of knowledge that I didn't have before. When I began studying Finnish last fall, I knew only a few common phrases, vittu and paska, and a smattering of adjectives like hyvä and kaunis. I can now engage in real conversations with those patient enough, watch movies and television, and understand an admittedly variable amount of what I read in the newspaper. 

I've met people from all over the world, and I've come to love some of them very much. I've been thankful that Finns, at least the ones with which I'm acquainted, want their ulkomaalaiset to learn Finnish well and integrate quickly. The existence of courses like this one makes that process immeasurably easier, and we're all damn lucky. I wouldn't trade this experience for, quite literally, anything. 

We had a final exam on Monday which included listening, reading comprehension, writing, and grammar. I received something close to a perfect score, and it just about made my entire life. A certain amount of the anxiety that's been constantly lingering in my chest and stomach has dissipated as a result. I do know this stuff. I can get better. 

I haven't received the final word on my teacher's opinion on my skill level yet, but she mentioned something about it being around  B1.2. I'm of two minds about this; to me, it sounds entirely too high, but at the same time, I'm overjoyed and perhaps even a tad more confident than before. 

Okay, I'm of three minds about it. I also know that some people achieve a similar result in half as much time, and I wonder if perhaps my emotional state this autumn has been detrimental to my progress. Although I've had countless breakthroughs in the last few months, it seems to me that I've been far more passive than I ought to have been. Then again, one of the best things about being in the A2 - B1 skill range is that words stick in my head far more easily than they used to. With this base level vocabulary, I find that I have more knowledge from which to make educated guesses and from which to form connections.  

I'm leaving for the US on Monday, and I'll be there for about a month. Being there for two very busy weeks in July was perhaps more heartbreaking than it was beneficial. I sort of hate to leave on this high note, however, since it's almost as though I'm just asking for another heartsick few months when I return. The main idea behind this trip is to spend as much time as possible with my loved ones, a thing I wasn't able to accomplish last time. Who knows, though -- maybe I'll be itching to return to Finland. I hope so.