Cheated

Although I truly appreciate all I've learned in college, I feel slighted.

My chances of attending graduate school are looking slimmer and slimmer; if I were to stay in the country, I wouldn't be able to afford it and still remain on my medication. My prospects will be slightly better in Finland, as the University of Helsinki offers a doctorate in English Philology. This program is highly competitive, however, and though I do have a high GPA, my background in Linguistics is pretty lacking. In fact, I'd guess that my background is lacking in nearly all respects. I wholly blame general education requirements.

It pains me to say this, since I have thoroughly enjoyed fulfilling most of my gen ed requirements. I'm glad to possess knowledge of things like (very) basic mathematical concepts, evolution, and history. Although I would hesitate to sacrifice these classes in favor of more major content courses, I feel ill-equipped for grad school and rather ignorant of the thing I'm meant to be studying. There is so much literature I want to read, so many theses as yet unformed, and I have wasted so much time on a simplistic and rudimentary general education. A "well-rounded" education, as it turns out, is not so at all. Instead, it is completely inadequate and superficial.

I had wanted to get my doctorate. I still do. But in light of the revelation that I likely won't be able to, it would have been nice to squeeze every drop of literary knowledge out of a truncated education. I realize I can still read, write about what I read, and so on, but it isn't the same. I don't want to leave academia. I want my papers torn apart and destroyed by ruthless professors and colleagues. I want to see if I can thrive in a barrage of constructive criticism. I want rigor. I want to exceed an institution's expectations. I want to better my skills.

That said, I'm infinitely grateful for my inadequate education. This inadequacy is the fault of the institution, not the educators. If it weren't for having some seriously great professors, I wouldn't want to join their ranks.

New Life, New Blog

My life is about to undergo a change that I could never possibly have anticipated. This shy, demure [not really], bookworm of a homebody is about to leave New England for Finland.

But that's not why I started this blog.

No, I decided to start yet another blog - one of many within the lengthy span of my blogging career - because I need to write.

I'm not sure that what I write will be of interest to you. I'm not sure if it'll be of interest to me. I'm no longer sure if it's even worth my time.

But I have to write. Regularly. I won't improve if I don't. This blog is an attempt to practice that which I so love to do, and that at which I'm not yet sufficiently skilled. I don't know what you'll find here. Maybe I'll develop a theme. Maybe I'll meander in and out of coherence and relevance. Though my audience will likely be pitifully small, I'll be glad to have one at all.