Saturday, September 3, 2016

What I need to feel human:

We all have things that help us to maintain our sense of humanity and personhood. Here are mine:

  • places to explore on foot / long walks in the shade of towering conifers
  • music that I not only love and find aesthetically beautiful, but that also gives me a sense of transcendence.
  • being near bodies of water
  • coffee (morning, afternoon)
  • listening intently to someone very smart every once in a while (conversations, lectures, podcasts)
  • being listened to every once in a while
  • being able to express myself with verbal fluency, and understanding everything I hear in response without impediment (during at least half of my waking hours)
  • being seen and understood as approximately what and who I am
  • time to work, read, write think and reflect without interruption
  • times when I am completely alone
  • quiet
  • reading. learning. 
  • lobsters at least once a year
  • light
  • knowing what to do as well as when and how to do it (feeling competent) every once in a while
  • having my incompetence, mistakes and weaknesses met with compassion
  • having certain days on which I can sleep in and on which I can spend 0 seconds putting makeup on my face
  • autumn at least once a year
  • old brick buildings 
  • a few people who love and accept that these are the things I need


Some of these surely sound trite or obvious or entitled and privileged (oh fuck am I aware of how privileged some of these expectations make me) but they are, aside from basic bodily imperatives, the things I need to feel human. Some are more important than others (I think I might still feel like a person without ever eating lobster again), but there you have it. I think we can sum it up thusly: nature, a sense of belonging, solitude.